The Captain’s Concern
Gotta quarter mil burning a hole in your pocket? Take a cruise. But not on one of those overcrowded behemoths sailing from Miami or Lauderdale on a weeklong milk run to the eastern Caribbean.
Rather pick up a 220’ private Megayacht owned by your generic billionaire and sail to the rarified air of the Exuma Cays in the Bahamas. Your weeklong cruise here will have you visiting some of the most gorgeous waters in the world. And of course the boat's owner will be happy to have your chump change to maintain his vessel when he and his retinue are not on board.
And so it was on our catamaran, Surprise, when “Octopussy” motored up to the mooring ball next door. Early the next day Sue and I dropped our mooring and motored around the corner to the fuel dock at Staniel Cay. Soon thereafter the handsome 40’ tender used by Octopussy as her dinghy came roaring in and tied to the dock behind us also looking for fuel. Off stepped a finely pressed ship’s officer… I figured the Ist Mate, maybe the Chief Engineer, but no, it was the Octopussy’s Captain himself!
With time on my hands, I sauntered over to the captain and we exchanged pleasantries. Then feeling bold, I asked him, “So Captain, what’s the challenge?" He looked at me quisically as if to say, What kind of a question is that? With an opening, I carried on, “Well sir, is the challenge dealing with your guests?” “No,” he replied, “I’ve got 11 in crew. Before they know what they want it's in their hand.”
Impressed, I continued, ”Is it handling the vessel?” “No,’he said, “I drive and steer with a Joy Stick. I’ve got 4 thrusters on each side of the hull. I can turn her in her own length, also I don’t need to anchor. I switch on the Global Positioning System and through satellites the thrusters will hold the vessel’s position all night.”
Now I’m thinking I could like this job. “Well, how about dealing with the owner. Any difficulty there?” “Certainly not,” he replied. “I’ve worked for this man for 25 years on three of his boats. I do my own hiring and firing and I’m given 3 three-week vacations a year with a round-trip air ticket to anywhere in the world I’d like to go.”
Well now I’m wondering what still might be a concern for this fortunate fellow?
A pause and then he continues, “Well, Pussy Galore is not on board, but as you likely saw I’ve got some very attractive young crew on the boat, and it’s important that they are always prompt, in good spirits and well-presented." I nodded in agreement and waited.
After a long sigh, the Captain finished, “I have trouble keeping them out of each other's beds.”
